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Hard Times

I haven't written or said much about this recently just because this is hitting my family and I so hard, but Panka is in the hospital after having quite the major stroke. This happened after spending Tuesday out with Nana, Kris, AJ, and I. We went and had lunch before him and Nana went to get Nana a haircut. After that they went home while Kris and I did our shopping the AJ. Once we returned home, we had a light dinner and then all of us went our separate ways. Panka played with AJ before she went for her visit with her father and then went to his room to watch some TV. That is when the stroke occurred, he was just in his room and Kris noticed that something was wrong.

Since Tuesday he has been in the hospital. Thankfully though, he isn't in ICU or anything like that. However, he doesn't have any use of his left side, he doesn't even recognize it as a part of him. He can manage few words, and makes hand gestures. He does recognize everyone which is a good sign. The doctor doesn't seem to think it is enough though, and there are some big doubts about him coming home. It is truly sad to hear and think about but it is the actuality of the situation though sadly. He isn't showing the kind of improvements that the doctors would prefer to see, but with his age things aren't looking too good sadly. I was lucky enough to have him in my life for 21 years, and my daughter 5 months. My great grandfather was lucky enough to experience and see 2 children, 6 grandchildren (although one of them is no longer spoken to), close to if not more than 20 great grandchildren, and three great great grandchildren (so far). Most people do not have experiences such as these and have people whom remember these stories and are able to pass these stories down to the next generations.

We are constantly hoping for him to pull out of this somehow, but I don't know how likely or possible it is. I've seen good things, but I've also seen some unpromising ones...*sigh* it is a lot to see and watch, but it is all we can do until he either fights his way through to a recovery that will make him happy, or he decides to give up. Either way, this is a hard experience although losing him will be much harder on all involved, at least we will then it is what he would have wanted because I know that he wouldn't want to have to be hooked up to tubes and unable to move on his own for the rest of his life.

We hope for the best and for what will/would make him happy, but as always we are prepared for the worst.



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November 2007

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Reason behind this is because, I like my privacy as much as the next person, but there are certain parts of my life that I don't mind everyone hearing about, so I go back and forth between "friend's only" and "public".

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